'I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out'
-Taylor Swift
At almost 20, everyone seems to know what they want. Whether they have dreams of being a lawyer, a teacher, the next Richard Branson- it's something. But, I seem to be getting more and more confused. Is that normal?
I went to university on a whim, so I suppose it was only inevitable that doubt would soon consume me. Have I picked the right course? Do I really want to become a journalist? What will I do when I graduate? The answer for all three is I don't know.
It's not even like I regret going to uni, in contrast it was the best decision I have ever made. It opened my eyes to a whole new world and despite feeling ever emotion from love to hate, from feeling part of something amazing to feeling completely alone and isolated, there is no doubt in my mind that it was something I needed to experience. I needed to grow up.
However at the same time, I am still at that awkward phase. The phase between being an adolescent and an adult. The phase of being an inbetweener. The time in our lives where we can be reckless, where we jump without thinking, make mistakes, make memories, make friendships, make enemies, make the person we are supposed to be. But how can we make that person when, at the same time, we aren't thinking past next Friday night?
I sometimes wonder whether it is possible to wake up one day and know exactly what you want. Not what you think you should be doing, not what you're told to do, but just what you want. Are people that lucky to know or does everyone just fall into something randomly and stick at it because life doesn't give them enough time to work it out for themselves?
I know there must be people out there who know what they want and how they are going to get it but as a very confused girl in her last summer as a teenager, I find that very hard to comprehend.
